Intimidation of page numbers and word count

I've come to realize why it's hard to write, and why it may be hard for others to write. The expectancy of x amount of pages for chapter or book.When someone expects a certain amount or as a writer, you pressure yourself to get the amount you want or need, it can take the fun out of writing. It can make your writing area into a stressful environment. Which is not very productive.It's all some writers, like myself, can think about when writing. It started to make me feel unmotivated when I tried and write Torque.My thoughts become less about the plot and more:

How can make this longer?

or

What can I put here?

The writing could suffer and become a mess. I haven't experience this while writing, at least not yet. I think that it can bring about comparisons to other stand-alone books or series, which would not be great.

When I first called Torque, Fangs: Taste of Blood (I know, what was I thinking), I wanted it to be seven or as long as the Harry Potter series. In seventh/ eighth  grade I had so much material and not a care in the world of structure, spelling or grammar. I had some idea of the plot and what I wanted to happen, but some of it was unnecessary and silly. Now, I just know I want it to be four books.I reigned in my ideas and decided on the most crucial things to keep. I feel like it's enough for four books. Though the goal of four books is still intimidating.I wonder how to get over the fear and write like I'm writing fanfiction; I write with ease and without fear of word count or pages. Could it be because I know that it would never get published for profit? It's funny that people can write a large amount of fanfiction than their own story or even creating it. Maybe fanfiction is less intimidating that writing your own stories and characters for others.I don't find fanfiction to be intimidating as much anymore. I was always hesitant in posting before, but now I just like writing it.Perhaps I should just write and try not think about pages or word count, because I want to write for a living and it's not productive to have thoughts like these while writing. I should push through this phase of intimidation of my book.Leave comments or suggestions below on how you get past the intimidation or how you motivate yourself. Thanks for reading and see you Wednesday!XO Arisa 

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